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Self Love, Body Positivity, and Food Freedom

“Numb the dark and you numb the light.”    Brené Brown ,  Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead Why do we battle ourselves every day?  What are we hiding, stuffing, or avoiding?  This is something I am trying to figure out and have been for years (25 years).  I get it we all have a past, some a bit more complicated that have resulted in affecting others lives in a way that you may not have realized until it was too late, and now I see them challenged due to my choices they had no control over. I battle with the food issue every day, I know so many that deal with their craziness through other ways. Food Alcohol Drugs Phones Gaming Shopping Exercise A battle is a battle.  It is a control thing for sure.  My mind is out of control and food is my go to and comfort even though I feel horrible when I eat crap. I try to convince myself that it is OK when I know it
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Recent posts

Floating Away

Just finished a 3 Day Juice/Soup Cleanse. First off, I actually completed it and didn't die.   I needed to reset my body as I hadn't gotten relief from my headaches for over a month.  I thought if I restart and then watch what I will be putting down my gullet then I can know what could be causing some issues I have been dealing with.   While scrolling through Groupon I found this amazing deal on Jus by Julie.  I checked out their site and it was legit and had great reviews.  It is usually $125 for the 3 day cleanse, but on Groupon it was $59.00 but I also had a code to lower the price to $40.00.  (Shipping was $29 but worth the freshness of one day shipping from NY) Side note, when using Groupon or Living Social always check for discount codes.  I use Retail Me Not  and also  Ebates , discounts and a kick back from my purchasing. If you are not using these site you are missing out my friend. I started Monday and was looking forward to the amazing flavors that Jus
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But I Have An Excuse..No, No, I Don't.

Soo... Whole 30, great concept, but crazy hard.   I have learned a lot of great ideas, got on to all the Whole 30 and Paleo/Keto websites, Instagram, and Snapchats.  Looks so easy and when they have all the food and budget, cooking this way seems like a breeze.  Reality... meal prep, preparing food this way after working a full day took almost 2 hours of peeling, chopping, shredding, mixing, boiling, and cooking.  Shopping, my trips to a few stores took major planning.  Spouts, Trader Joes, Ralphs, and then back to Sprouts.  As many of you know I am a bargain shopper and use coupons.  Most if not all the Whole 30 stuff was not coupon friendly.  Ghee, do you know what that is? Oh, and the cost of ghee?  They also said I could make ghee with butter by cooking it down, but the amount you need to do this process is ridiculous.  The food I made was super tasty, but after slaving away in the kitchen for so long I was so over the meal and just wanted to order out.  Kurt really enjoye
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Emotional Rollercoaster

Oh boy, what a week!  I was going to have Kurt do this Blog due to the fact he suffered the wrath of me detoxing off processed food and sugar.  Seriously, if people tried getting off crappy food and sugar they would realize the damage it is doing to us all.  The big issue is I LOVE it and miss it too,  so much so I caved a bit this weekend, but it was my anniversary too.  I started getting bitchy day 4 because of all the time I was putting into food prep and cooking or so I thought.  I also was frustrated with the lack of snack options because it did not include chips, chocolate or Starbucks.  I was up and down and didn't filter well at all, even at work which can be tricky.  Road rage also started to creep in, more than normal.  After snapping at Kurt and wanting my alone time, no I didn't want my alone time, yes I did. Ohhh, it was a emotional battle he calmly asked if this behavior was due to the fact of my lack of carb intake. Yeah, ya think...  Just throw me a dam
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Feeling Funky...

So last night I spent 3 hours preparing food to make things easier to just grab and go.  Crazy to say but I am over bacon right now.  I cooked 3 lbs of it and my clothes, hair , and house smelled like bacon.  I even have tender hands from cutting up so many veggies and trimming chicken.   My kitchen looks like a bomb went off with every skillet, pot, and frying pan used.  Food storage containers are crammed into my fridge with all the fresh food I haven't gotten to preparing yet.  We have a small fridge that is overflowing with whole food.  My 2 kids that are living with us are going to be eating Whole 30 as well, seeing their "carbie" food doesn't fit and would be a major temptation for me.  They can eat fun food at my oldest daughters home for the next little bit.  Up early today to prepare breakfast that was beyond my typical protein shake or banana.  I cooked and added another pan to the growing pile in my sink.  I was actually full leaving for work, egg, s
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Not starting on a Monday

Fighting with my weight has been something I have dealt with for over 20 years.  After busting out 4 kids and putting everyone else first I have gotten lost.  I looked in the mirror and I was no longer at size 8 like thought I was in my mind.   My closet has clothes ranging from 8 to 18.  SHOCKING and super depressing. I am pretty active, more so then some of my friends.  I try to do things I think I can do in my mind yet in actuality I can't due to how big I have gotten and my cardio sucks...literally. I suck so much air hiking around SoCal but still make it, just way slower and dizzier.  A few weeks ago I put it out to the masses on Facebook about what worked for others and what other reccomend.  I got a lot of different ideas, input, and options that would cost me money.  I just am not sure I am ready to invest in myself just yet.  I still have some hurdles to jump over and my mind to get in a better place.  Hoping with eating better and not so much sugar and pro
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